Let the Chips Fall

You know the saying "if you don't want them to know, put it in a book".  I've found that, that saying can also be used for emails and anything else that may need to be typed out in some form or fashion for someone to read. Some things can slide right under someone's nose if they aren't paying attention. 

In relationships at times things get so bad communication wise that someone has to actually send an email to the person they live with. Or write out their issues to read verbatim so that tone and message isn't lost when said person simply reads it. It's always up for misinterpretation when it isn't spoken directly. 

To be honest I go through different emotions when someone does not communicate with me verbally when we both know we have things to get straightened. When I have tried over and over and always have to be the one to initiate the convo. This is a build up. These are the emotions from once something has festered in me. Various emotions from repeating my need for them to communicate. From distress, upset to angry, confused, tired, disappointed, dismayed and flat out disgusted.. I feel on some level its a form of disrespect or unrequited concern when nothing is said. How can it not be if you are voicing a particular need over and over again? At what point do you throw in the towel and just say this isn't working for me and will never work? I cannot be with someone that does not communicate with me. It turns into me being the aggressor and them for some reason feeling attacked and a helpless, scared puppy. In my opinion its actually a form of gaslighting. You know there are things to discuss in order to move forward and feel secure in a relationship, but you refused to confront it head on until you are cornered like a cat and then the wrong things may come out of everyone who is involved mouths. 

In meeting people in different walks of life and all different personalities you get to learn pretty early on once you get older how people move. If I see you have communication problems I will ease all the way back. You MUST learn from your mistakes. If you do not how will anyone ever persevere? Like the saying goes "God continues to give you the same test over and over until you pass it". I feel that can be applied in this sense. Someone can be the most awesome in every other way in regards to your relationship but if they never sit and talk to you and ask you what's on your mind and if you guys can't talk about things that are happening within your interactions 9 times out of 10 it is not going to work. That is the hard truth, when it really does not have to be that hard. People compromise for what they want to work. When did communication become something you have to compromise with someone on?? Its like a given.... Especially after a certain age. 

I understand introverts as I'm an extroverted/ introvert. Even with introverts.. We think a lot, but also yearn for understanding.. Our constant questions to get to the bottom of things may bug you, but we are here to understand assist and work it out. When someone continues to hit a brick wall in trying after a certain amount of years they may see no other alternative, but to throw in the towel. The crazy thing about that is, nine times out of ten the non-communicator will communicate with the next person they're involved with and it wont take an act of Congress for it to happen.

That's how humans work. A true testament that we learn from our mistakes. 

In case anyone needed it. The 5 Keys to a healthy relationship is listed below.

Communication

Quality Time

Laughter

Generosity

Commitment

Tru Straub