Representing

Representative; a person chosen or appointed to act or speak for another or others. 

 I used to hear this word a lot in my former dating years and it still remains one of the most interesting terms to me. 

We all have a representative whether we admit it or not, in my opinion. I feel the older I have gotten it's changed more into me just trying to be the best me in all facets. I can't keep up charades for long at all as I'm horrible at lying and also at remembering them. For me it's just not worth it..  In all honestly I feel what you see is what you get from me in terms of who I am.  Depending on the depth that you know me in, is what I represent. 

Of course everyone perceives everyone else differently than what they would probably hope to be portraying.. Makes sense? Probably not, as this is coming "off the dome" and I know what I mean! lol I'll try to break it down. 

I pride myself on being a good judge of character and can feel others energy. This can be a good and bad thing, but I see it as being a good thing. At least I have one up on who I share my energy with. I'm so in-tune that when someone is having a horrible day and their mind is all over the place and they come into my peaceful space the whole mood in the room changes around me, I feel. I instantly may not want to be around it because I was just in the best mood possible that I've chosen to be in that day. No dark cloud, no negativity, only positive thoughts.. You come around and then all I feel is muddy and murky. Now in my mind I'd like for you to turn around and go share that ray of sunshine with someone else as I'm not in the mood to listen or try to fix you that day. It only comes to this once that person has repeatedly been this way. I personally didn't pee in those cornflakes so I shouldn't have to reap those benefits Mam! Some days I have it for you, some days I don't. Simple as that. 

Now, the representative portion comes in due to the fact that you sold yourself initially, on being a positive, happy, perky person the majority of the time we spent getting to know each other. This is only an example of the personality side mind you. Of course other things start to come into play as you unravel the puzzle. You sold someone this person for a good 6 months to maybe even a year. They're thinking this is you. This is you.  That's the person they grew to adore and want around. Fast forward to the next year and you've become who you really are. Leaving the other person feeling like you're in the wrong profession as you clearly missed the mark on being the actress/actor you were born to be. During the love bombing time, plans were made, feelings were shared, promises may have even been made. Leaving the other person feeling duped and slightly angry that they now have to be the one to call you on your facade and tell you the jig is up! An uncomfortable conversation for all involved to have because once the LOVE word has been said, shouldn't you love all parts of a person? Or does that go out the window because clearly that person has been hiding who they really were the whole time to get you to commit to what they knew you liked about them?

That's just one scenario, but you get the gist. I could go on and on, on what this type of thing leads to. At any rate, just be your damn self! There is someone for everyone. It truly is. Do not take someone's right to choose because you want what you alone want from them and are being selfish. Someone will ultimately get hurt in the end. You may be missing out on your person and causing them to miss out on there's with the time you guys wasted figuring out you aren't meant to be together. This can all be avoided if you just represent your true self in the beginning and your good, bad and ugly if you hope to have a future with this person. If they want it all from you, then that's a win. At least they had the chance to make that decision without you sneak pushing it on them. 

If being yourself isn't enough for anyone else it should at least be enough for YOU! 

If I got my mouth all ready for Fruit Loops and you try to serve me a knock off brand called Fruit Circles someone's feelings are getting crushed. 

Tru Straub