Mundane Monday's (jibber jabbering)

I can see this "trying to condition my mind to be in a positive space" on Monday mornings is still very much a struggle for me. It's not that I'm not thankful to see another day and grateful for my placing in life right now. Although I'm not where I want to be fully, I'm better than where I have been previously. My looking at it in that aspect even helps me see light, as opposed to wanting to sit in the corner in the dark and just be alone in silence. Not alone in the physical sense, but alone mentally.  That to you may seem odd and I accept that.  I am sort of odd and I embrace it. 

I'm not sure if Monday's became that way for me due to nursing hangovers from my "Sit Down Sunday" regular routine or if I became that way in the past having to go work somewhere I didn't want to be as it had no room for growth. The jury is still out on that. However, I do know now though that I've always claimed that feeling. So long that it actually became imbedded in my mind and I've kept that same "Non Verbal Monday's" vibe all the way up until my last job when Covid actually hit last year. 

I do miss chatting with co-workers. Getting the update on Ms Brenda's bad ass kids and her Saturday night "wine and cheese" get together with her homegirls, hoping that I will be that happy and surrounded by my beautiful, hilarious tribe when it's my time. I miss the younger chick Tracy's adventures at the club and pictures of the outfits she wore with her new hair; she just KNEW she was killing them out there in dem streets honey! The fly older woman that dresses like she's going to Prom everyday and smells of Estee Lauder and make up.  I miss the comradery and the trivia games we would play on lunch breaks. The going to lunch with your one homegirl you gravitate to more than anyone else. You two ladies may not speak on the weekends, but that's your ride or die at work. I actually miss assisting customers; the pleasantries and accolades that come with doing a job well done. The feeling of accomplishment in the little moments that you change someone's day at their place of business, when you work out their problem. Then the next day to wake up and do it all over again.

The downside of being in that space. The working pay check to pay check. The weighing out what you NEED vs what you WANT. Barley being able to buy you new outfits for the next coming weeks after you pay your bills on your own. The waiting 6 months to a year for an annual raise to probably what you should have been making in the first place. The realizing it isn't enough and you need to start making back up plans to get another job. The not being able to miss any days or be tardy to go on other interviews. O, shit gets very real, really quick when you see someone else get promoted into a position you know they kissed all the tale that you weren't willing to kiss, to get it. Hoping your work would speak for itself.  All the while knowing you were the better candidate, but deep down knowing how they got it. 

Monday's can be very mundane to say the least depending on how you walk into that day. Be it non verbally or cheerful because you get to get out of the house and have an actual viable excuse to not be home, where there is no NON-VERBAL Monday LOL! 

Either way there's always Talkative Tuesday if you're blessed to see the new day.

Tru Straub